Less Sleaze – Week 10

I had an epiphany while I was in Perth. I really wanted the caramel slice but they’d sold out. I always thought that an epiphany was a sudden revelation or insight; who knew that it’s actually a strawberry and lemon tart? Hang on, I’m going to look this up… I was right! An epiphany is a sudden revelation or insight. Those crazy Western Australianers! Still, now that I think about it, I was having lunch at the Koorong Cafe.

Let me start this again.

I had an epiphany (Actually, I don’t like that word anymore) a realisation when I was in Perth. Standing on Mark and John’s bathroom scales trying to work out how much the weight of my luggage had grown, I was alarmed to discover that my weight had also grown: I had now hit the disturbing 90kg! I shouldn’t have been as surprised. My belt had slowly crept out two notches over the last month; I had eaten most magnificently well on my holiday (the memory of the osso bucco still brings my taste buds to a gastronomic standstill); and, most telling, I have drunk both plenty and often. But it wasn’t till I saw that number that I started to feel concerned.

It doesn’t help that I’m pretty much the same shape as my Dah. Not that that’s a problem (that’s genes for you) but a couple of years ago he underwent coronary artery triple (I mean a single bypass is bad enough but triple?) bypass surgery, just before his 30th wedding anniversary. From what I remember his arteries has calcified so badly that he was starting to suffer minor frequent heart attacks due to the lack of blood flow. I’m very glad to say that he was a perfect textbook case and recovery and, besides now having to watch his diet and take tablets and that sort of thing, he’s in the peak of health.

While Dah doesn’t drink (in his youth, yes, but not from his 30’s on), he and I both very much like our tucker, and lots of it. But while my total weekly exercise is walking to and from the photocopier at work and the pub on weekends, Dah has always been somewhat active… admittedly lawn bowls might not be as enduring as the Tour de France but at least it gets you out in the sun.

The point is that standing on that shiny set of scales on my last day in Perth made me realise that if I’m not careful I am very much on my way to my own bypass surgical experience, and that is something I would very much rather not have.

So what am I going to do about it?

The answer is, I don’t really know, and knowing my previous attempts at developing a healthy lifestyle (I hate that word), probably not much at all. I always seem to dive straight in with gym and pool visits or nightly jogging and after a week exhaust myself back to a indolent attitude. The problems is exercise bores me, I like me booze, and food just tastes too nice not to pile your plate up high.

But what I hope to do is make some small changes, become just that little bit more aware of what I’m eating and drinking and how much I’m moving, and hopefully these tiny actions will over the next couple of months become second nature to me.

On Sunday Beautiful Creature told me he had purchase us Sleaze Ball tickets. Sleaze is the annual fancy dress fund raiser run by Mardi Gras, and is held the NSW Labour Day long weekend – this year Saturday 3 October. That means in 10 weeks time.

So over the next 10 weeks I intend to get myself back to a sensible weight. I’m planning on a healthy 1 kilo a week loss to return to a weight of 80kg; let’s try for that for now. One kilo a week over 10 weeks, I should be able to do that. If I had a “goal weight” it would be 75kg as that’s what I was for pretty much my entire adult life before I got a desk job, but let’s aim for 80kg for now.

On Thursday I purchased myself a set of electronic scales and set them up prominently in the bathroom, just by the loo (or brasco), and gave them a quick try out. The problem was that every time I weighed myself I was a slightly different weight being anything from 87.8 to 89.6kg, but on the bright side at least I was back under the dreaded 90.

The plan is this: To eat and drink sensbily and do a little bit of exercise, even if just walking home from work, then every Saturday for the next 10 weeks, till Sleaze, weigh myself and see how I’ve gone. So let me go get on the scales…

First go: 87.6kg. Fifteen minutes later, after having a wee, I weigh myself again: 87.3kg. I must have very heavy urine! During the following half hour I weigh myself three more times, each returning a score of 87.3. So that can be my Week 10 figure:

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Sleaze

Fantastic! I’ve already lost nearly 3 kilos and I haven’t even started!

I’ll see you in a week.

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